Divine light breaking through storm clouds

Finding the Divine From a Hospital Bed

When I walked into the emergency room of New York Presbyterian on March 13, just as the COVID-19 epidemic was gaining steam in the US, I had a fever and felt awful, but I had no idea that I was in any serious danger. I stumbled into that ER more as a precaution than anything. I had nothing useful in my bag – no toothbrush, no book, no change of clothes – just my wallet, a half-empty water bottle, and a magazine I’d already read. And then: two weeks of hell. COVID-19 was hell. My mind couldn’t, wouldn’t grasp it … Read more

May 15: Strangeness

My recovery has slowed my adjustment to our new and strange strange strange world. So much changed while I was swimming in the deep, in the world of fevers and pain and IVs and needles and poisonous and sickening yet helpful drugs and severe isolation. I get a little healthier each day, and take a bit more information in, and now… right now every corner of the world is full of strangeness. I’ve lost my job, except not totally. What does this mean? People bring me groceries, because venturing out can leave me breathless. But that’s weird. Venturing out… I … Read more

In the Wee Hours

The storm hit. The wind sent dust and papers and cars spinning in its vortex. Hail pelted down, denting the ground, shattering windows; bullet-like, hail shot through buildings, until it lodged in the soft soft bodies of an animals or people, who were dying everywhere. The sound was deafening. A high-pitched wail, like a banshee or a screaming tornado siren in a beleaguered Midwestern farm town, rose above the cacophony of buses and trucks twisting and crashing into each other, rose above the roar of the trembling buildings shaking and collapsing into each other. The pressure of the storm pushed … Read more

I’m Not That Sick!

It’s Wednesday, March 11. I’m at home in my Brooklyn apartment. I don’t feel well. Nausea so intense I can’t even drink water. And a mild and uncertain fever that edges up to 101 before dropping down again. Stomach flu? Thursday night, March 12. It’s really late. I wake up parched. I make my way unsteadily to the kitchen. I get a glass of water. I turn to go back to bed… and have a split-second flash that I’m going to pass out. When I come to, I don’t know where I am. I feel around on the floor, trying … Read more